I am starting to see the potential for spring here. For putting my boots away, and watching the bulbs in my front yard make their way up into the sun. It is good.
I am not going to write about my thoughts on Japan and what is happening there. My heart breaks for them. But it is one of those things that I cannot think too much about. Because my heart breaks for them. I am a big ball of empathy at the best of times, and there is a level of hurt that becomes so big that I begin to disengage and stop feeling it. I feel really guilty about that, and it’s an extremely hard thing for me to admit to. Because I am at heart a very compassionate person, and thus I feel like I should be hurting more, or focusing on it more. But I also know it’s just that really I’m hurting too much. If that makes any sense at all. I encourage everyone to donate, or help as much as they are able to (though I imagine if people weren’t going to, my prompting wouldn’t likely do much to change that), and I will leave it at that.
Yes, I just admitted to being overcome with guilt for not dwelling on someone else’s suffering at the risk of my own sanity. And we wonder why my sanity is in question in the first place. Yes we do.
Anyway, on to Five Question Friday, and I am going to try to suck myself out of the guilty hole and into…um…the happy hole? That sounds dirty. Are there other, non-sexual, non-negative holes out there? None come to mind. Okay, what’s the opposite of a hole? Something raised? I suppose I will suck myself onto a nice mound, then. A big mound of happiness.
Because that isn’t dirty at all.
As per normal, questions come originally from Mama M, were introduced to me via Spokeit, and require me to “clear formatting” when I copy and paste them or they come out FREAKING HUGE.
It’s like Five Question Friday in a way that could shake the earth when anyone reads it. Except maybe just in a metaphorical way. We’ve all had enough earth shaking for a while.
The Questions:
1. Have you ever testified in court? For what?
2. Do you still have your wedding dress?
3. Is there a special place you like to go when you’re happy, sad, stressed, etc.?
4. If you have kids, do they sleep with you? If you don’t have kids…will you let your kids sleep with you when/if you have them?
5. Do you watch late night TV?
My Answers:
1. Have you ever testified in court? For what?
I’ve actually been on the stand twice, and both times before the age of twelve.
The first time was around age 7-9, and I testified because this crazy woman in our apartment building had a hate on for my mother (which is a whole other level of absurd if you knew my super-harmless, sweetest-person-on-the-planet mother). We used to have a cat that liked to open and close the cupboard doors, and it would make a banging sound. This woman lived below us and was convinced that my mom was banging on the floor on purpose. Which may be a testament to my mother’s poor cat-training skills, but no maliciousness. She did try to stop it from happening, and got all upset when he still managed. Crafty cat. Anyway, there were a few other specific incidents that I won’t go into detail about (partly, to be honest, because I don’t entirely know the truth about them and am not sure I want to), but sufficed to say this woman hated my mom. And one day as we were walking into the building, she jumped on her and started hitting her. No joke. I’ve never seen anything like that in my life. Thankfully she wasn’t a particularly effective combatant or anything, but it was still really freaking scary. I remember really clearly running down the hallway and banging on the superintendent’s door. Anyway, they put me on the stand as a witness and I had to tell them what happened, and answer a lot of questions to verify that I knew the difference between the truth and a lie, and then at the end they asked me whether my mom did drugs. I was horrified. Of course not! Drugs were evil things, and I grew up with the full force of Just Say No.
Good thing they didn’t ask me if my mom smoked “homemade cigarettes” because she did that often. I just didn’t know it was pot.
The second time I took the stand was during my parents’ divorce at around eleven. All I remember from that time was my father’s lawyer going to town with this contemptuous tone, asking me why I needed to take dance lessons, or go to a better school, or various other things. Even at the time, I thought that was really low, and kind of a sleazeball thing to do. He was filthy rich. But even if there were disagreements, what possessed him to put a child on the stand and grill them that way?
2. Do you still have your wedding dress?
Yup. It is pristinely stored in a big cardboard box in my basement. And by “pristinely,” I mean that I kind of tried to fold it up a little, though it still has the grass and dirt stains on the hemline from our photos outside, and it hasn’t been cleaned or treated or preserved at all.
I liked my dress a lot, and I couldn’t quite bring myself to part with it or trash it in a photo shoot (though I think those are really, really cool). But I also don’t see any use for it as a museum piece. I would like to wear it again someday, though. Not for a vow renewal or anything. Just, you know, like to the grocery store.
3. Is there a special place you like to go when you’re happy, sad, stressed, etc.?
Apparently to my happiness mounds.
Otherwise, not really, no. I like going anywhere and everywhere when I’m happy. When I’m sad or stressed, I usually end up on the couch eventually.
4. If you have kids, do they sleep with you? If you don’t have kids…will you let your kids sleep with you when/if you have them?
No kids. Despite what a softy I am in a lot of ways, I don’t envision myself co-sleeping much. But I also acknowledge that I really have very little idea of what will or won’t be if/until I actually become a parent. I let and encouraged the cats to sleep with us, because cuddly cat body trumped any inconvenience, so maybe that’s telling for my future. I didn’t plan on cat bodies ever needing to leave the bed, though, and we could still have sex while they were there.
5. Do you watch late night TV?
I sometimes watch TV late at night, but I don’t generally watch late night TV. Everything we watch is recorded anyway, so the original air time is pretty irrelevant.
If I type and 8 and a bracket, it makes a face with sunglasses on. But that isn’t really unique to me.
