What the People (Apparently) Want – Stick Figures Edition

I have a nicely growing collection of totally random search hits to share still, but I felt that I would be remiss if I didn’t pay tribute to at least one of my real regulars this time around.  Ever since that  infamous post of last year, my previously unstoppable hugging kittens have been having their sweeping search term domination challenged by hits for stick figures engaged in romantic activities.

Some sweet and innocent…

cute little stick figures kissing

(Awww)

Some…not.

pictures of stick figures f#@ing each other

(Awww?)

And, of course, hit after hit for sticks and sex in combination.  So many that on any random day, I could probably scan my search list and pull off more ways to ask for that than any normal person should be able to think of.

stick figures sex, etc.

Etc., etc., etc...

These are all extra funny to me because I’m pretty sure stick person sex might not even be possible with those big heads getting in the way.  Think about it.

Anyway, by some twist of both supply and demand, I have turned into a veritable wealth of bizarre dirty sex figure search hits.  A few of the classics below (as a disturbing side note, only a couple of these are one hit wonders too…there are multiple people looking for this stuff).

stik people having sex

Clearly this is a common search for well educated, very careful people.

stick figures sexual writing

How do you even write about sex in a way that makes it clear the participants are stick figures? "John firmly grasped her body rail and pulled her closer. Their large circular heads pressed up against each other..."

sex posts stick people

Again with the writing. How would that be done? Or is this about using stick people for your sex posts? What exactly is a sex post? Is it like a stripper pole? A bed post? Some combination of the two? ...That actually sounds intriguing. What is wrong with me?

stick figures depicting sex

Is it just me, or is it mildly confusing to consider the kind of person who searches for this while using the word "depicting"? Is this for instructional purposes? In which case, wouldn't the use of stick bits be somewhat...um...limiting in its instructional value?

match stick man and qoman having sex

So much attention to detail in some ways, so little in others. Shame.

stick figures grabbin butt

Love this one. Stick people are not my first thought when I'm considering nice, juicy, grabbable behinds.

nasty stick figures website

I don't know whether to be disturbed that there are people out there seriously looking for this stuff, or kind of relieved that they apparently didn't find it.

stick figures ate out

I'm not sure which of the possible meanings I should be attributing to this one. But given the proportions of the other searches I get, probably not the out-to-dinner one.

Of course, not everybody wants to see the sexy sticks.

not horney stick person

Is it just me, or would that look very much like pretty much every regular stick person out there? Is there something subtle I'm missing in the bulk of stick figure pictures? What are they thinking that I don't want to know about? ...As a fun side note, this one is another with multiple hits. WHO IS LOOKING FOR THIS STUFF??

stick people don't screw

Yes, we’ve covered that. Now if only you could talk to all those people above. Also, why were you searching for this again?

And just for kicks, here are a handful of the other non-dirty (or at least I think not?) stick searches that have turned up recently.  And even more confusing, again, six of these showed up multiple times.

(list of searches for stick figures doing various random things)

(the mental health of stick people seems to actually be a very hot topic at the moment, if my stats can be believed)

pictures of sad stick people

Maybe searching for this makes people feel better about their own situation. I wonder if it's "sad" like melancholy, or "sad" like stick people with missing limbs. Or poor self esteem.

stick peoplestretching arms

Um...why? (Leaving aside for the moment the great possibilities for what "peoplestretching" might be. Probably not compliant with the Geneva convention)

stick figures cartoons don't do drugs

No...they probably don't. Because they're cartoons. Also because 2-D cocaine is probably difficult to find.

stick people emotions

I think I like this one just because the thought of trying to identify subtle emotions on a stick person amuses me. Two dots and a line are so very expressive.

aluminum foil stick figures

Why? Why do they need them? Why do I not? Am I missing out on something?

Does it say something about my psyche that I cannot stop interpreting this as a building made from stick people? ...Probably.

And of course,…

stick people using profanity

cute little stick people swearing

…Okay, I’ll give you, there’s something kind of inexplicably amusing about cute little stick people swearing like sailors.

Any interesting terms bring people to your website lately?

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6 Responses to “What the People (Apparently) Want – Stick Figures Edition”

  1. Bwahahaha! People are so weird. =)

  2. IfByYes says:

    The other day I got webbed penis baby.

    what would that look like?

  3. Geege says:

    I love this. People amuse me too! Sometimes I google really random things to try when I’m trying to be funny and prove a point. Every time I do it, I think of how some poor website owner like Curiosity is seeing these weird search terms come up. Now I’ll picture a stick figure Curiosity scratching her enormous stick head with a word bubble going “Why?? Just why???”

  4. Geege says:

    Further to that, not to imply Curiosity has a huge head. Just if she was a stick figure it would go with the territory.

  5. Punch says:

    This made me laugh so hard. Like a stick figure.

  6. James Hamilton says:

    This world is crazy…

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