Five Question Friday – “Most of the Snow Has Melted and I Refuse to Wear a Jacket With Sleeves” Edition

I am starting to see the potential for spring here. For putting my boots away, and watching the bulbs in my front yard make their way up into the sun. It is good.

I am not going to write about my thoughts on Japan and what is happening there. My heart breaks for them. But it is one of those things that I cannot think too much about. Because my heart breaks for them. I am a big ball of empathy at the best of times, and there is a level of hurt that becomes so big that I begin to disengage and stop feeling it. I feel really guilty about that, and it’s an extremely hard thing for me to admit to. Because I am at heart a very compassionate person, and thus I feel like I should be hurting more, or focusing on it more. But I also know it’s just that really I’m hurting too much. If that makes any sense at all. I encourage everyone to donate, or help as much as they are able to (though I imagine if people weren’t going to, my prompting wouldn’t likely do much to change that), and I will leave it at that.

Yes, I just admitted to being overcome with guilt for not dwelling on someone else’s suffering at the risk of my own sanity. And we wonder why my sanity is in question in the first place. Yes we do.

Anyway, on to Five Question Friday, and I am going to try to suck myself out of the guilty hole and into…um…the happy hole? That sounds dirty. Are there other, non-sexual, non-negative holes out there? None come to mind. Okay, what’s the opposite of a hole? Something raised? I suppose I will suck myself onto a nice mound, then. A big mound of happiness.

Because that isn’t dirty at all.

As per normal, questions come originally from Mama M, were introduced to me via Spokeit, and require me to “clear formatting” when I copy and paste them or they come out FREAKING HUGE.

It’s like Five Question Friday in a way that could shake the earth when anyone reads it. Except maybe just in a metaphorical way. We’ve all had enough earth shaking for a while.

The Questions:
1. Have you ever testified in court? For what?
2. Do you still have your wedding dress?
3. Is there a special place you like to go when you’re happy, sad, stressed, etc.?
4. If you have kids, do they sleep with you? If you don’t have kids…will you let your kids sleep with you when/if you have them?
5. Do you watch late night TV?

My Answers:

1. Have you ever testified in court? For what?

I’ve actually been on the stand twice, and both times before the age of twelve.

The first time was around age 7-9, and I testified because this crazy woman in our apartment building had a hate on for my mother (which is a whole other level of absurd if you knew my super-harmless, sweetest-person-on-the-planet mother). We used to have a cat that liked to open and close the cupboard doors, and it would make a banging sound. This woman lived below us and was convinced that my mom was banging on the floor on purpose. Which may be a testament to my mother’s poor cat-training skills, but no maliciousness. She did try to stop it from happening, and got all upset when he still managed. Crafty cat. Anyway, there were a few other specific incidents that I won’t go into detail about (partly, to be honest, because I don’t entirely know the truth about them and am not sure I want to), but sufficed to say this woman hated my mom. And one day as we were walking into the building, she jumped on her and started hitting her. No joke. I’ve never seen anything like that in my life. Thankfully she wasn’t a particularly effective combatant or anything, but it was still really freaking scary. I remember really clearly running down the hallway and banging on the superintendent’s door. Anyway, they put me on the stand as a witness and I had to tell them what happened, and answer a lot of questions to verify that I knew the difference between the truth and a lie, and then at the end they asked me whether my mom did drugs. I was horrified. Of course not! Drugs were evil things, and I grew up with the full force of Just Say No.

Good thing they didn’t ask me if my mom smoked “homemade cigarettes” because she did that often. I just didn’t know it was pot.

The second time I took the stand was during my parents’ divorce at around eleven. All I remember from that time was my father’s lawyer going to town with this contemptuous tone, asking me why I needed to take dance lessons, or go to a better school, or various other things. Even at the time, I thought that was really low, and kind of a sleazeball thing to do. He was filthy rich. But even if there were disagreements, what possessed him to put a child on the stand and grill them that way?

2. Do you still have your wedding dress?

Yup. It is pristinely stored in a big cardboard box in my basement. And by “pristinely,” I mean that I kind of tried to fold it up a little, though it still has the grass and dirt stains on the hemline from our photos outside, and it hasn’t been cleaned or treated or preserved at all.

I liked my dress a lot, and I couldn’t quite bring myself to part with it or trash it in a photo shoot (though I think those are really, really cool). But I also don’t see any use for it as a museum piece. I would like to wear it again someday, though. Not for a vow renewal or anything. Just, you know, like to the grocery store.

3. Is there a special place you like to go when you’re happy, sad, stressed, etc.?

Apparently to my happiness mounds.

Otherwise, not really, no. I like going anywhere and everywhere when I’m happy. When I’m sad or stressed, I usually end up on the couch eventually.

4. If you have kids, do they sleep with you? If you don’t have kids…will you let your kids sleep with you when/if you have them?

No kids. Despite what a softy I am in a lot of ways, I don’t envision myself co-sleeping much.  But I also acknowledge that I really have very little idea of what will or won’t be if/until I actually become a parent. I let and encouraged the cats to sleep with us, because cuddly cat body trumped any inconvenience, so maybe that’s telling for my future.  I didn’t plan on cat bodies ever needing to leave the bed, though, and we could still have sex while they were there.

5. Do you watch late night TV?

I sometimes watch TV late at night, but I don’t generally watch late night TV. Everything we watch is recorded anyway, so the original air time is pretty irrelevant.

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8 Responses to “Five Question Friday – “Most of the Snow Has Melted and I Refuse to Wear a Jacket With Sleeves” Edition”

  1. Geege says:

    1. Have you ever testified in court? For what?
    Nope, but I’ve been called and it was stressful!! It was for work and a call I took, but the victim didn’t show up so I was off the hook thank goodness! Everytime I answer the phone at work I could land in court so I’m thankful that I’ve only been called once in 12 years.

    2. Do you still have your wedding dress?
    No wedding dress here but IF I had one, I know I’d keep it. I agree that trash the dress sounds sooo cool but I just don’t know if I could do it after spending so much money on the dress.

    3. Is there a special place you like to go when youâ??re happy, sad, stressed, etc.?
    I can’t think of anywhere I usually go – but I guess I tend to withdraw if I’m sad or stressed, so I spend time at home then. If I’m happy, I like to be outside in the sun enjoying nature. Hmm…maybe I should try that when I’m stressed/sad too!

    4. If you have kids, do they sleep with you? If you donâ??t have kidsâ?¦will you let your kids sleep with you when/if you have them?
    Right off the bat I’d say no, they will not sleep with me, but I feel like I’d cave. A sweet little face beside the bed in the middle of the night? I don’t think I could say no to it!

    5. Do you watch late night TV?
    Not routinely, but if something good is going to be on it, I PVR.

  2. Darleya says:

    What are happiness mounds?

  3. IfByYes says:

    Ahahaha. Homemade cigarettes, eh?

    I say we all wear our wedding dresses to the grocery store. Except I’m sure I couldn’t fit in to mine.

  4. Curiosity says:

    Geege – That would be stressful, knowing that you could have to appear in court that often! I think I would probably feel like I was on trial, even if I was being called in as a witness, or an expert in a subject, or something. They would be all “So, can you tell us a bit about how protein synthesis implicates the defendant?” and I would be all “I’M SO SORRY I TOTALLY DIDN’T MEAN TO BREAK THAT VASE WHEN I WAS FIVE!” And that is why I will never be an expert witness. …That and my complete lack of knowledge about protein synthesis.

    Darleya – I honestly have no idea. I was just attempting a lame reference to the equally lame blathering earlier in the post. :) I have no idea what a happiness mound might be, except in a context that wouldn’t entirely be applicable for me given my sexual orientation. …Not that boobies aren’t nice anyway. Just not my go-to when I’m needing a quick pick me up.

    IfByYes – Yup. Homemade cigarettes. I’m actually kind of amazed that my very artsy, little-bit-flower-child mother produced such a straight-laced kid as me. I’m also kind of amazed that someone like her who was so laid back in some ways could be so high stress in others, but that’s another story.

    I loved wearing my wedding dress. It’s so pretty, and fun, and it just seems like such a shame that it only got worn for one day. There should at least be an accepted tradition for anniversaries or something.

  5. Ange says:

    I’m so excited to “trash” my dress this spring – except it’s not so much trashing as it is a styled shoot in a junk yard. I think there should be a National Wear a Fancy Dress to Work Day (so we can wear dresses, but so we don’t discriminate against those who aren’t married).

  6. Curiosity says:

    Ange – Wear a Fancy Dress Day is a fantastic idea. Ball gowns for everyone!

  7. SuzRocks says:

    When it comes to sad things, I also have to disengage. I feel like i see them so much sometimes (at work when people die and stuff), that if I allow myself to sit there and think about how sad it is, I will cry in public.

    Because I’m lazy, I’m only answering one question- I do not still have my wedding dress. I sold it and made back everything I spent on it. I get sad sometimes, but not sad enough to keep it.

  8. Curiosity says:

    Suz – Good for you in making your money back! That’s awesome. I’m sure you could probably put an empty cardboard box or garment bag somewhere and label it “wedding dress” if it made you feel better. I’m getting the impression that would pretty accurately mimic the common experience of keeping it. …You may want to add a few drops of booze or a couple minor grass stains first if you’re going for the total effect.

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