Still Kicking. …Partially Myself.

Had an Independent Medical Examination for my insurance company today. I have no idea how it went, really. I was as honest as I could be, and crammed in as much information for him as I possibly could in the time allotted. I think I will most likely suffer tomorrow for having tried to talk for over three straight hours (am definitely feeling the burn now, but the long term consequences of stuff like that can be fickle), but am not as completely wiped out as I might have been on a different day. I figure that’s the best I could have hoped for.

Am somewhat anxious now about whether or not I downplayed my level of anxiety too much.

Somewhere, there is brilliant irony in that.

I just didn’t want him to get the wrong idea. I was super nervous in his office, but the whole situation scares the crap out of me. My livelihood is totally at this guy’s mercy, and hinging on what I say to him. That’s a lot of pressure. But isn’t what we were supposed to be talking about.

At the very least, I’m hoping that at least he could tell how much I sincerely want my life back, and how frustrated I’ve been by my physical limitations and their impact on my work.

What he chooses to do with that information… Well,…that’s another matter.

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9 Responses to “Still Kicking. …Partially Myself.”

  1. CynthiaO says:

    If anyone gives you any hassle about this, you let us know and we’ll come kick their asses for you!!

  2. Hope it turns up some good info for you. :)

  3. Curiosity says:

    Unfortunately yesterday’s wasn’t really the “turn up good info” kind of evaluation. He isn’t even trained at all in CFS, as far as I know. It was more of a “lets see if we can get you to say something that will give us an excuse to terminate your coverage” kind of meeting.

    And as a side note, I may have been wrong about escaping with less bad consequences from the talking and adrenaline combo. Holy crap do I feel like I’ve been run over by a truck today!

    (I will be fine. Just angry at the insurance people for putting me through this stuff for basically no reason. I don’t know if they realize or care that something like that can set me back this way. I wish they would just take the word of the THREE OTHER DOCTORS AND DEFINITIVE LAB RESULTS already and accept that I’m not a perfect vision of health right now)

  4. If By Yes says:

    I was just planning to come and be like “WE MISS YOOOOOOU!” and here was a new post!

    Hope everything goes well. Keep us updated!

  5. If By Yes says:

    btw my security word was “asspell”.

    Heeee.

  6. Geege says:

    I think insurance companies live to make our lives more difficult.

    Nothing can ever just go smoothly with them (in my experience anyway).

    I’m glad you felt well enough for a moment to blog :)

  7. Curiosity says:

    Geege – Well enough or annoyed enough. ;)

  8. Zannah says:

    Insurance people suck. I’m sorry you have to go through this, but I’m glad to see it sparked a post. :) I’m sorry – I’m selfish that way. Miss you! Now rest up so you can come back once in a while!

  9. Amanda says:

    Well, shit. They made you go through with it anyway, even after my brilliant letter-writing? They clearly are unable to comprehend my rhetorical genius. Maybe I should go down to the office and perform an oration on the subject, perhaps while beating them about the head and shoulders with a large stick. Do you think that might get the point across a bit more clearly? It sure would make ME feel better, anyway.

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