Every now and then I try to take on too much (“too much” in this scenario meaning, like, make a phone call, or attend a doctor’s appointment in a reclining wheelchair, or have a quick visit with a friend who has to let themselves into my house because I’m stuck lying on the couch), and after the resulting crash, I tell myself that clearly I need to pace a little better, and take a little more rest time, and not agree to even little things too close together.
And I rest. And I feel a little better. And then I start to think that maybe my condition is improving. And that maybe now I could surely handle a quick visit with a friend.
I am an idiot.
Tags: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, pacing
You are not an idiot! You are trying to get your life back and no one can blame you for that. I’ll tell you one thing – we are planning a trip to Ontario next summer and I am coming to see you. I don’t care if you have to spend the next week in a coma, we are having tea god damn it!
^^^^ What Cyn said. I’ll with ya’ll in spirit when she goes up there. xoxo
You are not an idiot. And that’s all I have to say about that.
Thanks guys. Maybe not an idiot exactly, but it sure seems to take a lot of repetition before I take a hint.
Though if you make it to Ontario, Cyn, I will most definitely deal with whatever I have to in order to chat with you for a bit, so long as I am able. Fingers crossed that I won’t just be able to sit up by then, but that we can take a nice long jog instead. …Except that jogging wasn’t actually pleasant when I was capable of it, was it? Hmm…Well we can talk about jogging, then, and laugh at how little we want to do that, while we have our tea.
NOT an idiot! And I’m sorry if all that emailing back and forth contributed. I’m supposed to be HELPing, not hurting.
Hell, I’d come up just to watch you sleep.
This must be so frustrating for you
No, jogging does pretty much suck ass. Maybe on your bad days you can think “well, at least I don’t have to go jogging today” and that will make it minutely better??
We won’t job but you will be well and we’ll stroll and have tea and think about how happy we are that you’ve overcome all of this. *hugs*
You sound just like me. I am finally realizing that I, too, am an idiot. And the doctors that dance around the diagnosis of ME/CFS are idiots. Only, I’m very angry and sad about it, not resigned yet. Maybe I’m just in the infancy of this disease (one year). I haven’t read more of your blog yet, but i will. For a recent example of an idiotic crash and the subsequent rage, see this:
http://ldndiary.wordpress.com/2012/09/15/message-to-the-doubters-warning-strong-language/