Still trying to avoid overactivity, with varying degrees of success. It’s so hard to find that line of what I can do without triggering really bad problems, particularly since it seems to shift around constantly.
And, of course, the thought of playing it extra safe and just lying here literally doing nothing for the next year and a half sounds…hmmm….what’s the word I’m looking for? Oh yes – Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah.
I recently came across this blog via a comment here, and rather than posting too much today, I’m going to link there instead. She’s said it all as well as I could anyway.
One minute your life is totally normal, and the next you’re in this completely surreal world where your body feels like it wants to die and just getting to the bathroom is a monumental challenge. It took me a really long time before I lost the voice in the back of my mind that felt like surely this was not happening. That surely it was all a nightmare, and any moment I would wake up from it. It’s amazing how much denial the human brain can try to grip onto when it’s faced with something so sudden.
I think now that there is part of my brain that has forgotten what it is like to not live on a couch. It is going to be a very surreal experience in itself if ever I can drive again, or go grocery shopping. I’m going to be standing there in the middle of the produce section, with triumphant tears streaming down my face, and people are going to think I’m really moved by eggplant.
And it is going to be awesome.
Tags: denial, ME/CFS, myalgic encephalomyelitis, tear-inducing vegetables
It will be awesome! Hell, I may fly up just so I can cry with you. Damn eggplant.. gets me every time. xoxo