So I promised myself I would try to write here more frequently again. Of course, what seemed like a very do-able and brilliant idea at the peek of a medication-induced period of hyperactivity is looking significantly more shady at times like this where brushing my teeth seems like a lot of work (Not too much, mind you. I am minty fresh; just reserve the right to swoon a little at the effort).
(I used a semi-colon there. Did you notice? Probably incorrectly. I hate semi-colons.)
I guess it feels like there isn’t much to say today. I can’t even detail what I had for lunch, as I seem to have skipped it in favour of being WAY too hungry all afternoon. The boring bloggers of the world have a leg up on me. How’s that for sad?
Today was a day of Grand Ambitions, followed by Grand Avoidance, with an aftershow of chocolate. To be honest, I’m finding things in general a little more frustrating than they have been now that I have recent productive/well periods to compare to. Makes me more inclined to start my day with ambitions requiring capital letters. …whether or not I will reliably be feeling up to following through.
Sometimes it surprises me a little the bits of sadness or frustration I pick up on in what I write here.
On a related note, I’ve been spending a lot of my time lately trying very hard to look at the thoughts and emotions that I am trying very hard not to look at.
I have not yet figured out what would qualify as “success” in that statement.
Tags: frustration, reasons that if my inner consciousness were to call me a bit of a jerk I would be unable to argue, Ritalin, sadness, unrealistic expectations, unreasonably high expectations
Have nothing witty or particularly insightful to say (I suppose it could be argued that there is nothing new about that…), but I can relate to the frustration of setting myself up for failure re:unreasonable high expectations. And that’s after I’ve made a point of keeping my to-do list to less than 10 items. Sometimes I think it would be a lot easier to have someone else holding me accountable. I’m a bitch of a taskmaster.