I’ve just noted that Windows has been nice enough to put a little bubble on my “Calculator” feature to let me know that it performs basic arithmetic. Thank you, Windows. You always know just how to help.
I have a Word document on my desktop in which I started to keep track of techniques, information, tips, strategies, insights, suggestions, and other depression-related stuff that I found helpful, but didn’t get around to mentioning here. I figured it would be best not to forget what was working so that, say a week later when I had fallen off the wagon, I could drudge it up in the future and remind myself of what I used to know. Five pages of briefly truncated point-form later, it seems to be growing a little more rapidly than the stuff I’ve actually taken time to properly document. And I’m getting things like “perfectionism – adequate,” which I can still make sense of at the moment, but I imagine may confuse me if this whole “abnormal brain chemistry” thing doesn’t get entirely resolved within the next month or so.
The fact that my brain has alighted on this (…okay, and the fact that I can’t seem to access the Dooce community site) as inspiration to sequester myself for the day (do you like how I implied there that I haven’t been semi-continuously sequestered? Nice, huh?) and write up every tiny detail of my journey through depression treatment thus far (do you think too many brackets would throw off the flow of this sentence? Maybe?) tells me that perhaps today’s morning dose of Ritaliny stimulant goodness is kicking in. That, and the fact that my movement from place to place for the past twenty minutes probably qualifies more closely as “dancing” than…er…not dancing.
So, I have ensconced myself comfortably on the couch, and even cracked the blinds a little (the neighbor’s teen walked by once and happened to glance in my direction, and that was that for a while with the windows. Ah, medication-induced anxiety.). I will Write like I have never Written before (maybe with…appropriate capitalization, then?). I will Document. I will Detail. I will Use Too Many Brackets.
…for about the next fifteen minutes or half hour tops, probably. Then I will go back to watching TV and waiting to take my next pill, having already used up the bulk of my productively medicated time writing down my ambitions here.
Also, getting an ergonomic keyboard has apparently made me into a bit of a goob when it comes to interacting with the Normal Keyboard World. I’m using our laptop. There may be drool involved.