It occurred to me the other day how much “Victoria’s Secret” sounds like “victorious egret.”  I would probably buy a lot more underwear from a triumphant bird.

Victoria's Secret Model

Victoria's Secret Model

Egret Bird

Not a Victoria's Secret Model

(in my defense, they do look kind of similar)

I wrote out the priorities for my life today.  The point being to take note of them, and then try to make sure that my life, time, and money are going towards the things that are really important to me.  It was supposed to be a list of things that really “make life worth living,” free from guilt, or potential judgment, and without concern for how big or small an item something might be.  The results were relatively predictable, although some things definitely ranked much higher in importance than I might have thought they would.  My top fifteen (I think):

  1. Quality time with my husband and a super-close relationship with him.
  2. Being creative (in a variety of random ways).
  3. Exploring new experiences (not so much the “leap from tall buildings” kind, but more the “hey, I’ve never had green tea ice cream or been to a rodeo!” kind).
  4. Weekend getaways (we’ve only done this a couple of times, but I LOVED it.  I would very much love to be living a life in which we could take off to wine country and stay in a cute hotel, or go horseback riding, or get spa treatments once every couple of months.  I think that would make a big difference to my stress level the rest of the time).
  5. Meals at nice restaurants (again, this is one of those things that would be fantastic to be able to do regularly.  Is there anything better than talking together over crusty bread and a bottle of wine?  I think not.)
  6. Laughter (lots of it.  …This is probably actually much higher on the list, but laughter-related activities sort of go here, I think.).
  7. Our cats (because snuggling up with them is such a comfort right now, I can no longer imagine not having kitties around).
  8. Opportunities to shine (I know this one now, because I have worked at a job with no positive feedback of any kind.  I need to do a good job with things.  And I need to have somebody know it.).
  9. Games (video, board, or otherwise.  …This one was a bit of a surprise to me, but as it turns out, it seems important.  Yes, this makes me a geek.  I have a blog on the internet, and I’m a geek!  Who’d have guessed!?)
  10. Stretching my brain and/or learning new things (in case you didn’t catch that geek bit above).
  11. Pleasing surroundings (I have decided that I do not need a super-large house with super-expensive furnishings. …But I do ideally need an environment that does not create additional stress because it is broken or dirty or cramped).
  12. Good health (in the form of quality food, vitamins, exercise, etc.)
  13. Friends (yes, I know this is relatively low, but I don’t really have that many close friends right now.  No guilt, dammit.  …Do not even notice that “family” has not made the top fifteen.  No noticing.  Or I will say “no noticing” again.).
  14. Peace (in the form of yoga, meditation, tai chi, chi gong, or something similar).
  15. Paying people to do things that are unpleasant (I do not mind needing to do other things to make the money to do this.  But in my ideal life, I am not mopping my own floor.  Ever.)

It’s a pretty quick list, so don’t judge me too harshly, but I would say that it’s probably fairly representative of where I am right now.  Of course, I expect that some things on there will change greatly over time, but for now it sums it up well.  I wasn’t really expecting the trips away and nice meals out to be quite that important in the grand scheme of things, but I treasure those times, and they are definitely go-to items for lovely memories.  Lovely memories are extremely important to me.  Notably, working is not.

So…I don’t think I need to be fabulously wealthy in my dream life, which is good.  But I do need to have enough free cash that I can drop a few hundred dollars on luxuries here and there without worrying.  I also will apparently have nothing to show for it, as most of my large expenditures will be experienced or eaten.  Still, I think I would be a lot happier and healthier all around if I was actually living in line with this.  How nice would it be to come home from work knowing that there was something energizing and wonderful waiting for me?  Too often when I was working full-time, I used to end up coming home completely drained and doing nothing but watching TV or otherwise killing time.  Maybe if I was refueling more often with meaningful things, then I wouldn’t get too wiped out to do them.

Or maybe I just want to drink a lot and eat nice food.

That’s good too.

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11 Responses to “Victory”

  1. Jesse Dictor says:

    Naturally, your dream should be to drink more. Its the most obtainable of all goals.

    Memories can be lost or changed.

    Sorrow is nice as well. I wish it was on the list. Feelings are multi-purpose you know.

  2. Fact: The only good expenditures are the ones that are experienced or eaten.

  3. Sonyasworld says:

    I think laughter needs to go a bit higher. When you laugh, you can manage everything. I love it how much you prioritize your husband. I prioritize my wife in the same way, as she does for me. And guess what? Because of that, we laugh a lot.

    I’m also going to very publicly gush about how much I enjoy your writing style. Talk about providing laughter, for us as well as for you. I can tell that you’re smirking and chuckling as you write. It shines through very well. Thanks for the great attitude.

    Isn’t this blog supposed to be about depression….? =)

  4. Ooh–would you be more likely to mop if it was with a steam mop? They’re actually fun. And fast. I love my Bissell, and my friend loves her Shark. Just sayin’. Maybe it would mean less money for a cleaning person (unless it’s your DH!) and more money for those weekends away!

    Great list!

  5. Curiosity says:

    Jesse – While I respect your viewpoint, “more sorrow” is not a goal that I would want to put my resources towards right now. I have plenty. Buckets. Some to spare, in fact, if you’re in need of more. Send me your address.

    notquiteawake – I couldn’t have said it better myself.

    Sonyasworld – I can tell from your posts how much your wife means to you. Here’s to love, and laughter, and hopefully lots of healing. …And thank you for your comment about my writing – it made me glow. Writing here sometimes manages to combine the laughter and the creativity, so it does help me feel alive and more like myself. You’ve just added a little of number eight, and I’m a sucker for that. :) …And I don’t think it’s in me to be completely devoid of humour, depression or no. I’ve never been very good at sticking to the guidelines, I guess. ;)

    Wombat – Maybe if you could hook me up with a Steam House… And I could just flip the switch and the whole thing would steam itself clean and I’d be done with it. That actually sounds pretty awesome – somebody get on inventing that! Otherwise I think I’d still rather tutor for an hour to pay somebody else than spend that hour cleaning. I don’t know what it is – I like organizing (which is an entirely different creature), and I don’t mind certain other kinds of mindless tasks (I could stuff envelopes for an hour without complaining. …much.), but cleaning just…blech. It’s tedious, but it doesn’t leave me mindless enough to think about other things, I guess. I just don’t have that domestic gene. Plus my nose is super sensitive. That’s never a plus in those situations.

  6. Zannah says:

    Good list! My priorities mostly line up with yours, although I think I would reorder the list in a couple of places, and let’s please replace “cats” with “dogs” since that’s the go-to pet in my house. :)

    And I’m completely with you on the job thing. I have people who do give me positive feedback, but the job takes so much out of me every day that it takes an enormous effort to anything other than couch-TV-dinner-bed when I get home from work.

    I need a better/different job.

  7. steff says:

    i don’t think there is a damn thing wrong with your list of priorities. i can relate with a LOT of what you’ve mentioned. especially at the end where you say that when you worked full-time that you would find yourself too exhausted to do anything when you finally had a moment to yourself. i feel so old fashioned and some might read into this comment as “anti-feminist” or some shit like that but i’ve come to the conclusion that i really CAN’T work full-time anymore and remain sane and creative and moreover HAPPY. sorry if that’s shitting on everything women’s groups have worked so tirelessly on for decades but i’m not speaking for ALL women, just myself.
    without going TOO deep into it, there was a time when i thought “i HAVE to make this amount of money so i can have this car and this house and blah blah blah” thinking all that shit = happiness. maybe it does for some people but it really doesn’t for me. i still want the nice meals and life experiences but i don’t think i have to work a thankless soul-sucking job (just because it pays well) to find the time and money to do the things i want.
    i guess what im saying is i think its awesome you laid out your priorities. its something i know i could benefit from as well. mostly what i do is just complain about the aspects of my life that i dislike (my job for instance). ok, im losing track/steam here. i think you get what im trying to say. i hope.
    you can’t put a price on amazing life experiences. they are worth every penny and as long as you can afford it you should never skimp out on those :)

    ps – i love your blog and feel like i can relate a ton to what you have to say, which i can’t begin to stress just how awesome that is. as a fellow depressive it’s great to know that you aren’t alone with your head and your pain bc it’s so fucking easy to forget that.

    pps – i would much rather buy bras from a victorious egret than a skinny lady with an enormous rack that makes me curse my very existance and focus soley on my imperfections.

    just sayin…

  8. Zannah says:

    I forgot to mention how hard I laughed at the victorious egret thing. And the mouse-over text. I don’t need no stinking hat. “Wanna buy underwear?” Still laughing.

  9. [...] visit Curiosity. She’s listing her priorities for life (and making fun of Victoria’s Secret models).  Who can [...]

  10. Lorraine says:

    I think we could jump start the economy if triumphant birds started selling everything.

    I have a lot in common with your list except maybe quality time with my husband. Because I don’t have one. Oh and cuddling with my cats. Because I don’t have any. Oh and games. Because I don’t really play any. Oh and peaceful yoga. Because I don’t bend that way.

    But other than that! Totes the same.

    A lovely list. A lovely bird. Good job! (I’m contributing to your need to shine.) You are a star.


  11. fr8d says:

    I agree 100%!

    Found your blog searching for similar topics than those featured on mine!

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