I bet he secretly likes Oprah

I’ve decided that I need to be better about doing different things just for the sake of doing them.  I think I’m falling prey too easily to the illusion that I can’t do anything until I’m feeling better, or that a certain activity might not be that enjoyable so I’ll skip it.  …Not even in the dramatic depressive way, but just in the everyday sort of way.  I’ve been in the clenches of this mentality for a long time, I think.  Sometimes it’s just the thought that I’m too tired to [do paperwork, exercise, go out, play a game, raise chickens…whatever] on a particular night, so I should wait for some other night to do that.  This is true from time to time, but more often I feel better once I’m living my life more fully.  I need to experiment with getting back to that again.  Richer activities take a lot more energy, which is daunting these days, but maybe once I’m in the habit it will be easier.  Plus, it’s rare that those energized evenings ever actually get there, and I don’t want to be missing out.

Of course, this is really all stuff that I had mastered a full year ago.  Sometimes I re-have a particular epiphany several times before it actually starts to sink in for good.

So yes, working towards doing stuff even if I don’t feel up to it, and doing things just to see what happens rather than needing to wait for something reliably good.

It’s a fine line for me, because I have to pay close attention to the difference between deliberately choosing not to do anything because that would be nice for me in that moment versus not doing anything for the reasons listed above.  I’m not so good at that whole “balance” thing, so there’s always the danger of pushing myself beyond the point that it’s good for me and into the point where a bagpipe lesson in carnivorous plants would be more pleasant.  I am not, in fact, a robot, and even if I was I probably couldn’t go at full steam all the time.  I’m sure even the Terminator was lounging on the couch in some of the scenes they didn’t show.  Between blowing up that thing, and killing that guy?  Yeah.  Totally watching TV.

And just because I’m on the topic of rediscovery, I came across this picture of our boy yesterday and have to share it.  Is that not the cutest damn thing you’ve ever seen?  He is the indeed the master of trying things for the experience without worrying about how they’ll turn out.

Sleeping Cat

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5 Responses to “I bet he secretly likes Oprah”

  1. First of all, look at those cute little kitteh legs dangling off the desk all stiffy sleepy! I’m also glad the er, stuff on your desk resembles mine.

    When I was feeling sick and lethargic about a year and a half ago, my friends dragged me to this art festival for which I was certain I wouldn’t have the interest or stamina. I’ve since thanked them several times for making me go. It was the push I needed to realize, “holy cow–I can do this.” I still haven’t gotten “back to me” yet, but every time I do a babystep (or big step like get on a freaking plane and fly to Florida!), I realize what I’m capable of.

    Please know I’m not preachin’. Just wanted to share how your post reminded me of myself and how I’m proud that you’re making strides in your journey. :)

  2. Spokeit says:

    That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen!

  3. So…..does that mean we get to meet for coffee? Yes? Ok, good. You should bring your cat.

  4. Curiosity says:

    Wombat – It’s perfectly organized, I assure you. ;)

    Spokeit – We found him sleeping happily like that. Stayed that way for a good long time, then roused enough to roll over on his side but left his legs hanging over the edge. So cute.

    notquiteawake – Indeed. We should definitely meet up. Although I’m not sure I would want to see the effects of that particular cat on coffee.

  5. steff says:

    oh man, how did i miss the post with the sleeping cat?!!! god, i love it. i follow my cat around like the paparazzi.
    hope things are on the upswing for you.

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