Sometimes the fake “words” in those little prove-you’re-human-and-not-a-spam-computer text boxes amuse me. Got “vichinga” yesterday, which sounds to me so very, very much like a pet name for female body parts that I may start using it. Or maybe as one of those “Ha – gotcha!” kind of phrases. Like “Yo mama’s so fat she probably needs medications to assist in managing her cholesterol! Vichinga!” or “Your husband’s so lazy that there appears to be a minor buildup of recyclable products under your sink! Vichinga!”
Also nice guys do sometimes finish last. Mostly in yo mama battles.
Day two of the Great Wellbutrin Countdown. I am happy to report that there are no hives yet, though I have become excessively aware of everywhere on my body that is minorly itchy, at all times. Incidentally, that line at stomach level, where you fold when you sit down with bad posture? Very itchy.
I filled out the Anxiety and Depression inventories in my “Feeling Good Handbook” by David D. Burns today (the one with the admittedly very famous in the field man on the cover who looks very much like Mr. Rogers’s nicer, more syrupy neighbour). The depression one is sort of like this. They say that it can help to do that regularly, since it puts a definitive number on how you’re feeling. I don’t know how much weight the actual number itself holds, since the test is pretty basic, but it does make it easier to make comparisons.
I haven’t kept track of all of my scores over time. Don’t remember exactly where I was when I first started (early 30’s, maybe?). At one point earlyish into the process, not too long after being diagnosed and pulled from work, I was a 42(anxiety) and 28(depression). Later on after doing a lot of my self-help readings and trying yoga, etc. I was a 28 and 20. Then 38 and 16 on the Wellbutrin the first time around (it’s known for making people a little tightly wound). When the Effexor hit, I was too depressed to even think about answering the questions (it would have been off the charts) and on the Prozac I was too anxious to worry about it. Today I scored a 42 and 40. The anxiety checklist goes all the way up to 100, but the highest possible score on the depression checklist is 45. Note that I tend to under-estimate my symptoms if I’m undecided. Note also the difference between where I was when they officially decided this was bad enough that I could not work anymore, and where I am today. Note that higher is BAD on this test. Sigh.
Yo body’s so cracked that you get SADDER on antidepressants!