Greetings from nature! …And by nature, I mean very swank “cottage” owned by friend’s wealthy father. I think it still qualifies though. I’m sure somewhere outside the vast and gorgeous kitchen there must be rabbits and squirrels and stuff. Or at least a bug or two. …Do bugs come with expensive granite tops?
I jest. Kind of. Sort of. Okay, not really. But we are near the water, and the air smells amazing, so I think I can suffer through the luxury somehow. I know. I’m terribly selfless.
On the plus and down side, Friend-Who-May-Or-May-Not-Like-Me wasn’t able to come up. Which if he really is okay with me now is a shame, because he’s a nice guy and fun to be around. But if he isn’t quite okay with me is a relief. I’m calling it a victory.
And yes, there are four of us currently sitting in the living room, three one laptops and one playing video games on the big screen tv. In the middle of the afternoon. At a cottage. With a gorgeous day outside. We’ll be outside lots too, and there’s a fantastic lake-scented breeze coming in, but yes, I acknowledge some of the irony of travelling hours to do this. I never claimed not to have rather geeky tendencies at times. We should probably just go ahead and learn Klingon. We’re not fooling anybody.
A quick conversation with a friend of mine who has also struggled with depression also confirmed my already-huge resolve to make a change in psychiatrist. His guy, like, does therapy and stuff. And discusses lifestyle changes. And is willing to fill out paperwork. And chooses medications based on specific symptoms and reactions to other drugs rather than chronologically. And, you know, takes notes, and records what he’s prescribed him from time to time. I’m tempted to see if I could get in to see him even just for a one-type consultation so that I’d have a plan of which medications might be a good fit for me if I ever decided to go that route again. If I actually thought there was some reason to hope for a better result, I might even be willing to consider it. …Eventually. …Once I’m starting to go senile and my memory of the last year and a half has failed.
I should probably comment eventually on the SAM-e (aka SAMe, aka A-Adenosyl methionine) as well, as it actually seems to be doing what it claimed to, and though there were a few side effects to start, they seem to have faded down now. I know that some people do have significant side effects from the SAM-e, but it seems that I, whose body seems to generally roll over in close proximity to any medication, am not one of those people. Score! I’m just now getting up to the suggested minimum starting dose of 200mg/day (which is still only half of the suggested minimum therapeutic dose), and it should take another week or two to know what this dose is doing, but so far so good. Of course, as with everything else, it’s tough to tell sometimes whether changes are the result of the pills or of other natural life changes, but I am finding that I’ve got WAY more energy than I did. And energy means motivation, and capability, and other good things. Still have the occasional meltdown, but I’m hopeful.
Of course, I’m one of those people who gets quasi-euphoric from a cup of coffee, so I guess it shouldn’t be surprising that feeling slightly hyper all the time has improved my mood. But it’s pretty great.
In addition, we on the way up here, we passed a vending machine that sold bait. With a great big, very fecal-looking worm on the front. Now who’s mood wouldn’t be improved by that?