Posts Tagged ‘Not that I have anything against Bea Arthur in particular. Just shrines.’

Five Question Friday – This Edition is Sponsored by The Letter A (for apples!). …And maybe B for bowels too.

Friday, March 4th, 2011

Today’s plan was to wake up with a fresh, happy digestive tract as I generally do in the mornings and chow down on a crapload of apples to see if my system hates them. But I’m still rather sore, bloated, and generally unhappy from whatever it was I ate yesterday that disagreed with me, so now I’m just chowing down on a plate full of apples because… Why am I chowing down on a plate full of apples again?

I think my digestive tract, much like the rest of me, just needs to CALM THE HECK DOWN for the most part.  Perhaps, like my husband’s (and to be honest, the rest of my husband also, depending on how early in the morning it is and whether there is coffee involved), my Bowels are becoming a bit Irritable now.  Or irate, really.  I have Irate Bowel Syndrome.  I do not want irritable bowels.  I was my bowels to be calm and agreeable.  I want Zen Bowels.

Anyway, somehow it has managed to become Friday again, and that means there are questions!  And answers!  And assorted other excitements*!  As per usual, questions come originally from Mama M, were introduced to me via Spokeit (who is awesome, by the way – go check out her Five Question Friday too), and your commentary or answers are welcome as always.  Or you may instead leave me a sentence containing as many “z” words as you can think of.  I can currently only think of about 3 off the top of my head, and I am pretty sure that one of them isn’t really a word.

*Assorted other excitements not included

The Questions:

1. Have you ever forgotten your child in a store or at school?
2. Where did you go on your very first date? (Like…first first, not first with your spouse or current significant other!)
3. What’s your “silly” fear? (We’re not talking water and heights.)
4. Confrontation: do you cause it, deal with is as it comes, or run far far away?
5. Wood floors or carpet?

My Answers:
1. Have you ever forgotten your child in a store or at school?
I do not yet have any children.  Or perhaps alternately, I have a much more serious problem with this than I thought.

It is rare that I blank on places I’m supposed to be, and I have learned to take precautions when I am in danger of getting absorbed into my regular routine (I set an alarm clock for pretty much anything these days), so I might infer that I’ll be unlikely to abandon any future children for more than, you know, a day or two before I remember them.  I am also pretty good at mysteriously being able to locate pretty much any small item that my husband has misplaced without even searching for it, so if any babies get left on the bathroom counter or in his coat pockets, I can totally get around that.

2. Where did you go on your very first date? (Like…first first, not first with your spouse or current significant other!)
I don’t remember… My actual relationships in high school involved more of a gradual getting together and then at some point just instantly being a couple.  Not much formal dating involved.  I can only remember one actual date in which I was asked by someone I didn’t know well already to do something one-on-one for the purposes of gauging compatibility or romantic potential.  We went to a Jack Astor’s restaurant.  I got a Caesar salad and remember commenting at the time that Caesar salad filled with giant leaves covered in creamy dressing is not actually the best choice of foods for eating gracefully on a first date.  Then he took me to this dessert and coffee place.  The itinerary was okay.  The date was not so great on my end.  He seemed nice enough, but spent (kid you not) the entire night talking about the details of various medical problems and how dysfunctional some of his family is, and stuff like that.  And not in a funny way, or like a nice intimate conversation where we were both sharing stuff.  Just in a way that seemed like a really poor choice for a first impression.  He was really into me, though.  I felt really bad about it.  There was no second date.

This was the first of many times I figured I should “just go for it” and try dating somebody I didn’t already have a firm impression of and then quickly decided that was a terrible idea (until the memory faded and I tried the same thing again).  Why the hell do people advise you to do that anyway?  When searching for a house, I did not jump in the car and go see EVERY HOUSE THAT SAID IT WAS AVAILABLE.  I want to see some details first.  I want to know that the house I might be looking at does not have seven bathrooms in place of a kitchen, or a large shrine to Bea Arthur built into the middle of it.   I don’t buy the “too picky” thing when it comes to friends or relationships.  I’ve had mediocre friendships and relationships, and they both kind of suck.  Chemistry is important.  And if you’re anything like me, the odds of actual chemistry with somebody entirely random is probably less than one percent.

And dude, those odds suck.

Plus, now I have my husband, who is so beautifully suited to me it boggles my therapist every time something about us gets mentioned.  High standards for the win.  :)

3. What’s your “silly” fear? (We’re not talking water and heights.)
I’m not sure what I would classify as a silly fear.  I worry a lot about how I’m measuring up, and what people think of me.  That is unnecessary, and counter-productive, and seems needy, and I hate that I do it, but I’m not sure “silly” would be the proper word to describe it.  I probably wouldn’t giggle at core insecurities.

I find it silly that I wouldn’t want a spider or larvae crawling on me, even if I knew they couldn’t actually injure me.  I also find it inversely silly that ladybugs somehow become completely okay just because they are red and have spots.  Have you ever looked close up at a ladybug?  Would not be so special if it were black.

4. Confrontation: do you cause it, deal with is as it comes, or run far far away?
All of the above.

I hate confrontation.  My mother was supremely supportive (and a bit too indulgent, but that’s a whole other story).  I can remember her being mad at me maybe two or three times in my entire life, and each of those times was because I had done something that embarrassed her to others (and yes, I can see the connection there to what I answered to the previous question), and each of those times it was short-lived and never mentioned again.  Consequently, I never really learned to deal with conflict between people.  I can often handle it in terms of getting through it with sense and direction, but deep down it is still a big red warning sign to me.  I could be furious over something you’ve done, and you would never, ever know it.

And yet…

I am too opinionated and willful to always keep my mouth shut when that would avoid it.  If I feel strongly about something or feel that it is important, I will often speak up about it.  And if I am impassioned on someone else’s behalf, I will have a backbone of steel that doesn’t really get used for my own interests.

But that doesn’t mean I’m not putting myself out of my comfort zone when I do it.  And it doesn’t mean that secretly I won’t think that everyone involved hates me now.

And anything that does not reach the level of Very Very Important you better believe I will just let slide completely.  I am a particularly agreeable willow tree until it matters.  To my detriment.  I tend to let things go WAY too much to avoid any conflict surrounding them.  If I can take it, I will try.

The other side of this is that disliking conflict has over the years somehow shaped me to become a master mediator when it comes to other people in conflict.  I do not run the other way there.  I beeline right for it.  I want to get straight into the middle of it, and make all of the unhappiness go away. Because if people are unhappy with each other, it is a giant shard of SOMETHING WRONG in my side.  And because I just know that I could fix it if I had enough time to talk with them.  And I have a hard time restraining myself when I feel like I know how to fix things, because I am like that.  Often I restrain myself from getting too involved if I don’t feel it would be socially appropriate, but I almost always want to. Even with those random people fighting on the street.

5. Wood floors or carpet?
Wood floors are growing on me, and definitely win out overall.  They look nice, and feel right, and they are probably cleaner.  But I sit on the floor far more than most other adult people seem to, so sometimes it’s nice to have carpet around.