I had promised myself that I would try to write today, but I woke up holy tired from a truly bizarre set of dreams involving death and show tunes (no kidding), and have been feeling a little numb all day. I had wondered if perhaps I would notice more of a withdrawal effect in the final weeks of Luvox, when I graduated from Luvox nugget to Luvox flake. It’s damned difficult to differentiate one tiny sliver of medication from another and accurately judge which one is probably larger. Additionally, my pill cutter has some kind of crazy problem trying to cleanly cut something that’s not all that much larger than the width of the blade. Go figure. At any rate, I’m thinking that may be what today is.
I’ve been trying to push myself to spend my time in a wider range of activities lately. Perhaps to ensure that I’m getting as much fulfillment and motivation as possible. Perhaps due to that part of my brain that thinks it’s perfectly reasonable to expect that I might learn a language, or write a novel, or start a giraffe farm while I’m off on medical leave.
…Okay, I will admit that last statement isn’t entirely accurate. I should specify that in the vision I should easily do all of those things. At once. While making lattes.
At any rate, the goal has been to branch out and see if I’m missing out on anything randomly fulfilling and/or ensure that I’m making the best and most beneficial use of my time. Today is not a branching day, though. Today is some kind of mutant tree with a very, very long and branchless trunk leading up to a canopy of blankets and tv. It is a day for letting the world be sort of surreal, and watching it go by with distant curiosity. But I’m okay with it.