I have a nicely growing collection of totally random search hits to share still, but I felt that I would be remiss if I didn’t pay tribute to at least one of my real regulars this time around. Ever since that infamous post of last year, my previously unstoppable hugging kittens have been having their sweeping search term domination challenged by hits for stick figures engaged in romantic activities.
Some sweet and innocent…
And, of course, hit after hit for sticks and sex in combination. So many that on any random day, I could probably scan my search list and pull off more ways to ask for that than any normal person should be able to think of.
Etc., etc., etc...
These are all extra funny to me because I’m pretty sure stick person sex might not even be possible with those big heads getting in the way. Think about it.
Anyway, by some twist of both supply and demand, I have turned into a veritable wealth of bizarre dirty sex figure search hits. A few of the classics below (as a disturbing side note, only a couple of these are one hit wonders too…there are multiple people looking for this stuff).
Clearly this is a common search for well educated, very careful people.
How do you even write about sex in a way that makes it clear the participants are stick figures? "John firmly grasped her body rail and pulled her closer. Their large circular heads pressed up against each other..."
Again with the writing. How would that be done? Or is this about using stick people for your sex posts? What exactly is a sex post? Is it like a stripper pole? A bed post? Some combination of the two? ...That actually sounds intriguing. What is wrong with me?
Is it just me, or is it mildly confusing to consider the kind of person who searches for this while using the word "depicting"? Is this for instructional purposes? In which case, wouldn't the use of stick bits be somewhat...um...limiting in its instructional value?
So much attention to detail in some ways, so little in others. Shame.
Love this one. Stick people are not my first thought when I'm considering nice, juicy, grabbable behinds.
I don't know whether to be disturbed that there are people out there seriously looking for this stuff, or kind of relieved that they apparently didn't find it.
I'm not sure which of the possible meanings I should be attributing to this one. But given the proportions of the other searches I get, probably not the out-to-dinner one.
Of course, not everybody wants to see the sexy sticks.
Is it just me, or would that look very much like pretty much every regular stick person out there? Is there something subtle I'm missing in the bulk of stick figure pictures? What are they thinking that I don't want to know about? ...As a fun side note, this one is another with multiple hits. WHO IS LOOKING FOR THIS STUFF??
Yes, we’ve covered that. Now if only you could talk to all those people above. Also, why were you searching for this again?
And just for kicks, here are a handful of the other non-dirty (or at least I think not?) stick searches that have turned up recently. And even more confusing, again, six of these showed up multiple times.
(the mental health of stick people seems to actually be a very hot topic at the moment, if my stats can be believed)
Maybe searching for this makes people feel better about their own situation. I wonder if it's "sad" like melancholy, or "sad" like stick people with missing limbs. Or poor self esteem.
Um...why? (Leaving aside for the moment the great possibilities for what "peoplestretching" might be. Probably not compliant with the Geneva convention)
No...they probably don't. Because they're cartoons. Also because 2-D cocaine is probably difficult to find.
I think I like this one just because the thought of trying to identify subtle emotions on a stick person amuses me. Two dots and a line are so very expressive.
Why? Why do they need them? Why do I not? Am I missing out on something?
Does it say something about my psyche that I cannot stop interpreting this as a building made from stick people? ...Probably.
And of course,…
…Okay, I’ll give you, there’s something kind of inexplicably amusing about cute little stick people swearing like sailors.
Any interesting terms bring people to your website lately?